


Beautiful Lie

by HisagiJ69



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 17:28:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3658947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisagiJ69/pseuds/HisagiJ69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feelings by all means wrong. Yet undeniable. (a JackXOswald one-shot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Lie

**Author's Note:**

> JackXOswald is my PH fucked up ship. Call me mad if you want, I don't mind XD I love their relationship and all the angst and tragedy inherent to it. Here is something I wrote just because I felt like it :3 enjoy ^_^

_It’s a beautiful lie,_

_It’s a perfect denial._

_Such a beautiful lie to believe in._

_So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me…_

 

 

The sky was incredibly blue, the sun was surprisingly bright, the weather was amazingly hot. Or should it be said the sky was awefully blue, the sun horribly bright and the weather exaggeratedly hot. For today, while sitting calmly under the shadow of a tall tree in the garden, nothing seemed beautiful in Oswald’s eyes. No, we shall say nothing seemed beautiful in Glen Barskerville’s eyes.

The ceremony of the previous day, when Raven, the first of the five Black Winged Chains, had been contracted by him, had indeed worn him out. After a night of plain rest, he still felt his shoulders heavy and tired, his head slightly dizzy and his arm sore. But those were all simptoms he was warned of since long ago, and were easily bearable as well. What he wasn’t expecting had been the excruciating guilt that had soon fallen over him the moment he stepped out of the room. When he walked through the door, holding his aching limb, she was standing there to greet him. Lacie’s presence there, her soft eyes and peaceful smile, had been like a sharp knife tearing his flesh appart. He thought at first that too physical pain was an after effect of the contract but soon came to realize he was wrong. That was the destroying wieght of blame and guilt that he had been denying until then. Now Raven was his chain. Now he was officialy Glen Baskerville’s new vessel. And now there was no turning back. The man had ran to his room without saying a word. He couldn’t find the strengh to face the girl. Now he couldn’t escape his fate anymore. Even though he knew it all along, it seemed more real now, closer than ever, and almost touchable: the day he would have to send his own beloved sister to the depths of the Abyss.

And so he rested his head against the tree trunk, breathing in as much air as he could, afraid his heart would stop beating if he didn’t. The thought of doing so, stop breathing, came to his mind once or twice during the last hours. Dying there, under a blue sky, warmed by a bright sun, innocent and restful. Could he ask for any better than that? But the idea was alaways shaken off. He could not. He didn’t have the right to turn his back on his own fate, no matter how much he wanted to. He was destined to live as Glen, to kill his own sister on the world’s behalf, to die as a sinner for the sake of a reality too big for him to hold or even fully understand. Sometimes he asked himself if it would be worth it, and he couldn’t find a concrete answer.

And in this peaceful place, he just wanted to forget. To forget he was meant to become Glen Baskerville, to forget he had a sister, to forget the terrible things he had no choice but to do. To forget about his own pitiful existence and be just a nameless man sleeping under a tree. It was impossible, though. His efforts to do so were jeopardized when he heard leafs shaking under unknown feet. Though he knew exactly who it was, he didn’t want to open his eyes. “Don’t come.”

The footsteps stopped. _Please, go away_ , Glen prayed for a moment. If he came any closer, he would ruin everything. Glen knew it because he had tasted that kind of feeling before.

A soft giggle greeted him instead, making his hopes die. “Ah, Oswald is too hard to scare. No fun at all!”

“I told you not to come, Jack.” He snapped, irritated, even though no emotion was visible in his usual harsh tone.

“Eh, why not?” Jack asked, as cheerfully as ever, sitting down next to his friend. “Everybody is looking for you right now! I presumed you’d be here, so I came to get you. Lacie must be worried as well. Why don’t we visit her now? Hey, Oswald? Are you alright?”

The dark haired man felt like shouting out loud. How could Jack not see how much his words tore a hole in his soul? Then he understood that’s the way it was supposed to be. Jack knew nothing of his condition, nothing of Lacie’s future death at his hands. And so he was happy and pure and he could not imagine the pain the Baskerville felt right now. “Glen.” He corrected, clenching his teeth.

“Hum? What?”

“It will be Glen soon enough.” Was all he could say. “You better get used to it.”

“Oh, I see!” The other agreed, still amused. “Glen-sama it is then. What are you doing here, anyway? You should be out there celebrating, right? You’ve officially become Glen’s heir now, isn’t that something you should feel proud of?”

“There is no way you could possily understand…” Glen murmured, more to himself than to anyone else.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Enough.” His voice was harsh as he spoke. “Go away, Jack.”

“Hum? W-What are we playing at, Os- I mean, Glen-sama?”

“I SAID GO AWAY!”

The words were more than enough to make Jack back away. Glen opened his eyes that moment, even though he didn’t want to, meaning to find courage in that futile gesture. It was the exact oposite. Jack was sat down there, a rare fear flashing across his face, his usual smile gone, his green eyes staring as if meaning to rip his heart. That’s what he did every time. Those green, emotionless and mistirious eyes were the thing he couldn’t stand the most. If in one hand he longed to know what they hid, in the other he feared he would never be able to. And seeing Jack reminded him of Lacie, because the Vessalius’ man was so very fond of his little sister. What would he do when he found out what Lacie would go through because of her brother? Glen couldn’t stand that friendly presence he liked so much, because he knew the hate that would fill those cryptic eyes soon enough. He wanted to tell him. He wanted to warn Jack about the monster he himself was, he wanted Jack to hate him for being willing to do such a terrible thing, but he couldn’t. In one hand, because Lacie had begged him not to. But mostly because that friendship, the only one he ever had, was already too important for him, and Glen couldn’t see himsel giving it up. And so now, bound by the secrets he couldn’t spill out, Jack’s presence was crueler than he could stand. So he took one hand to his face, trying to hide the sparkling world his eyes caught.

 

Jack was frankly surprised. It wasn’t at all like Oswald to react so rashly, so emotionally. He knew the man for long enough to tell that. Something was certainly bothering him, not something light at all. That ceremony had brought the Baskerville down, and Jack found himself dying to know the reason. The reason his so called friend was so disturbed, the reason his eyes looked so very sad. But even though, he hesitated. Mostly because that feeling was somehow new to himself. To want to know what’s bothering someone with no second intentions. To actually _care_ about someone. Jack asked himself if he even knew the meaning of that word, and came to the conclusion it didn’t really matter.

He gulped to get his courage back. Oswald was a frightening man, he had been since the moment they met. And yet the Vessalius couldn’t bring himself to stay away. So he came closer once again and hesitantly touched the other man’s shoulder. “Oswald…” He whispered.

The Baskerville’s reaction was so fast, so violent that Jack had no time to respond, as his back was carelessly pushed against the tree trunk, making him gasp in shock, arms rudely held by strong hands. “I TOLD YOU TO GET AWAY!”

Jack was suddenly there, feeling dizzy, confused, trapped between the tree and Oswald’s preputent presence, holding him tightly in his grip. But what surprised Jack the most was the man’s expression. A real expression, as he had never really seen in Oswald. Jack had been able to guess his friend’s mood in the past, but being expressionless was one of Oswald’s characteristics, that he seemed to stick up too without a worry, as if that blant way of being was his second nature. But now, as close as he could of the man, Jack saw sadness and rage and regret and sorow mixed in those purple eyes, so many emotions he didn’t know where to turn to. Emotions Jack could’ve easily misread, since he didn’t remember feeling any of them. “I…” Oswald mumbled, voice oddly hesitant, fingers gripping tighter around Jack’s arms. “Why don’t you just… go away…? Why don’t you just turn around and leave me alone…? I want to be alone, damn it…”

It took Jack a moment to react, but when he did, his answer was unexpected. “You’re lying.”

 

Glen looked up in surprise and what he found was a faint smile. All of his pevious thoughts were swallowed by that soft expression. The Vessalius’ green eyes met his with a soft expression. “You don’t really want to be alone. You just don’t know how to deal with the situation in hands right now.” He continued, simply. “You feel enraged at something I can’t guess, but it’s alright. You don’t need to tell me. I understand.”

Glen felt a sudden will to laugh, but he only bit his lower lip and growled. “You don’t. There is no way in this world you ever would.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Jack answered, his smile turning somehow nostalgic at Glen’s eyes. “But I don’t need to. What are your wishes now, Glen-sama? Do you wish to beat me up? To assault me? To kill me? If any of those would ease your pain, then go ahead and do as you please. I’ve been throught a lot during my life, and I doubt your actions would be unbearable. Go on, if it’ll help you somehow.”

All of those words, so easily pronounced, so lightly put out, made Glen shiver. He realized in that moment his fingers were trembling, such was the strenght with which he held Jack. The feeling turned worse when Jack’s lips curved into a bright smile full of unusual and sad falsehood. “It doesn’t really matter to me.”

A first moment of shock, then a strike of heavy guilt, then an ocean of pure grief. Glen’s hands let go of Jack. His eyes burned by tears he would never shed, his head fell foward, lightly landing over Jack’s shoulder. He felt defeated and terrible. “How could you…?” Glen asked, weakly. “How could you even say something like that…?” He didn’t give the other any time to answer, as he added, pityfully, shutting his eyes close. “I… I can’t just bring myself to hurt you… even if I wanted to…”

 

The words caught Jack unprepared. He was expecting a lot of reactions, for he had dealt with all kinds of people in his life. He was waiting for Oswald to start crying, to punch him in the face, to run away, among others, even though at the same time he couldn’t imagine the man doing any of those things. But those words surprised him even more than if Oswald had started crying. Those words had been so suffered, yet so gentle and truthful. For a brief moment, Jack decided to forget the fact that he knew more than anyone that just because something seems real, it doesn’t mean it is indeed, because Oswald’s head was heavy on his shoulder, and his warm breath could almost reach his skin through the fabric of his coat. It felt good, for some weird reason.

A soft smile, one that Oswald couldn’t see, draw itself on Jack’s face. “Then you really are a good friend, aren’t you?”

Oswald shook his head. “I don’t deserve it… I don’t deserve to have you here, Jack. I don’t deserve to be called a friend by you…”

“Is that so?” Jack asked, genuinely curious. _Much less do I_ , were the words that immediately came to his mind. Surprised at his own thoughts, Jack didn’t speak them up. “Well, it doesn’t matter.”

 

Glen’s eyes opened wide against Jack’s shoulder as he felt the man’s hand softly patting his head. It was an unreflected act, he could tell. At least, he absolutely would if he could see Jack, staring at the landscape, somehow lazily drifting through unthought dreams. “It doesn’t matter as long as I’m here. You don’t have to feel that way, because I won’t go anywhere for now.”

Glen backed some centimters away from his spot. “It’s not fair.” He stated. “I will certainly hurt you.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be fair.” Jack said, simply, after a too long hesitation with occult meaning Oswald could not guess. “That’s just the way things are. We can’t avoid pain and suffering. Being friends means we will hurt each other eventually. But it will be worth it.” The blond’s fingers tightened around Glen’s dark locks. “I’m sure it will.”

Glen looked up then. This time, staring into Jack’s green eyes, those he loved and hated so much at the same time, faces so close they could feel each other’s warm breaths.

 

He raised a hand to softly touch Jack’s cheek, a gentle and carying hand, the one that belonged to Oswald, not the ruthless and harsh one that had grabbed him one moment ago. Jack felt his breath suddenly stuck in his throat, his heart bumping inside of his chest. Oswald was so close and his touch was so kind. And his eyes, those deep purple eyes, showed the exact same kindness, and that made the Vessalius feel somehow unseasy. That same hand opened to cup his cheek, as Oswald stared right at him, obviously in deep thought. After a too long moment, a pause where no sound was heard besides the one of their hearts beating and the wind blowing, Jack almost giving in to the sudden fear taking over him, as the other inspected him with voracious eyes, Oswald spoke. “Do you think so?”

A sudden chuckle was ripped out of Jack’s throat, as his uneasiness faded to give place to a dazing familiarity. Only Oswald would make such a scaryingly serious face just to think over such simple words. Jack answered with a bright smile, holding Oswald’s hand with his own. “I do think so. So enough of being all grumpy, okay?”

Oswald, suddenly aware of their awefully close position, his body over Jack’s, legs entwined, hands touching, stood up in an ever so slight and nimble gesture. After a moment, he offered Jack an opened hand.

 

It was wrong. Glen knew it too well. It was wrong to hold on to such a fragile feeling that would eventually be washed away soon enough, by his crimes and by his selfishness. He was a terrible person but, in that moment, looking down at Jack’s bright presence, so opposite of his own, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Even though it would not last forever, he wasn’t strong enough to let go of it right now. As long as Jack was there by his side, Oswald would keep on living. It killed him to know he would hurt his only friend, but it hurt him even more the thought of loosing him willingly.

Postponing the inevitable. So childish, so stupid, and yet the only decision he was able to make right now. Exteding his arm, he knew he was holding on to a soon to come doom, but he wanted to ignore that reality for now. It was a perfect denial of his true destiny, and probably the only thing that could keep him walking forward till the end. So he desperatly wanted Jack to hold his hand, he wanted that feeling to keep living for now. For as long as it would be possible.

 

Jack took a slight moment, staring up at Oswald’s tall and authoritanian figure at first sight that he knew in reality so weak and gentle. And for a moment, he felt his heart tightened, while remembering his own words. _I do think so_. There was no way he could be sure. His own existence was by far a mistake and he knew that sinful relationship he had built with Oswald was something he should avoid at all costs, as there was no way he could go on with something that he believed wasn’t even real. But he would not tell so. He could not let Oswald know of his hollow being, of his disgusting true self. Even knowing the man would find out and would suffer because of it, sooner or later. For some reason, he wished to avoid that moment to come, he wished to keep Oswald protected from himself. Was it because he cared? Or was it a whim of his own twisted mind? It didn’t matter, bacause Jack wasn’t strong enough to stay away. At least for now. And so he lied.

As he held Oswald’s hand and stood up, he held on to a lie. Just another lie. One in a million he had told and lived. It would make no difference, anyway. If he really cared or not. It didn’t matter at all the reason why he held that hand. If by care or selfishness. Because _care_ was a word wich meaning he did not truly know.

Being with Oswald like that, walking and chatting and feeling. It was a nice lie. A beautiful lie. One he did enjoy living.


End file.
